Guide to Child Health

Call it maternal instinct, call it women's intuition . . . I definitely have a knack for identifying when my child is sick. I know some parents really struggle when trying to determine if their little one requires a trip to the doctor, so I thought perhaps I should share my wealth of insights. Sometimes examples are helpful, so I'll tell you about the past 24 hours and point out to you, simple reader, the oh-so-subtle clues that allowed me to determine that my child was in need of medical care.

It began around midnight, when I heard Cameron whimpering and moaning (subtle clue #1). I went to his room and he told me his throat hurt. I stayed with him while he fell back asleep but a mere hour later he crawled in my bed and sobbed, "Please, my ear hurts, take me to the hospital!" (subtle clue #2) He tossed and turned all night and awoke looking pale with fluid leaking out of his ear (subtle clue #3). Now, keep in mind that I do have a medical background -- I don't want you to feel completely overwhelmed and inadequate in the face of my mind-boggling knowledge -- but I deduced that the child had an ear infection which required prompt treatment. A few hours and $50 later, he was dosed up with antibiotics and pain meds and snoozing on the couch.

Now, here are some of the subtle clues that told me the antibiotics were working. After a long nap, Cameron awoke and proposed a new game which he called "Human Bowling." It is played by stacking rolls of paper towel in the hallway, sitting on a bouncy ball and bouncing your way through as many rolls as you can (subtle clue #1).

The game was followed by clever snack proposals, such as "When you are sick, you should eat lots of popsicles, right?" (subtle clue #2) And, of course, regaining pride in your personal appearance is always a sure sign of recovery (subtle clue #3).