Lament of the Easter Bunny

E.B. here. So, last night I lurked about for hours waiting for Cameron to go to sleep. This particularly family had already been a real pain in my tail -- a few weeks ago, I got an e-mail from the mother. "Dear Easter Bunny," she wrote. "Please be aware that we will be visiting Chicago on Easter. All candy and gifts should be delivered there. Also, Matthew has multiple food allergies. We respectfully request that you provide only dairy, egg and nut-free candies." I had to special order allergy-safe jelly beans and chocolate bunnies, which are NOT cheap, let me tell you. So, by Easter's Eve, I was already a bit irritated with this family.

So, there I am, waiting to hide the eggs and Cameron is wide awake. The whole household is asleep, EXCEPT Cameron. And I'm a little tired! Finally, the kid conks out and I hop about, secreting eggs in tricky spots for Cameron and fairly obvious spots for Matthew. I traded in all those dry beans that Cameron earned for jelly beans -- I'm going to be eating chili for months. I hid a wizard costume for Cameron and a crown and sword for Matthew. Finally, my work was done! Last of all, I wrote a note explaining that the blue and green egss were for Matthew to find and the pink, orange and yellow were for Cameron. I'm telling you, I am one awesome Easter Bunny. I covered EVERY base. This family was guaranteed an amazing Easter morning, thanks to ME!

Now I'll hand the story off to Sharon, the irritating "I'll sue you, E.B., if you give my kid peanut-contaminated jelly beans" mama.

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Sharon here! After a late night, I was awoken at 6:30am by Cameron. "Mommy," he whispered, "it's light outside! It's morning!"

I peered at him blearily. "Did the Easter Bunny come?"

"Yes!" answered Cameron.

"Did you see if he left anything?"

"Yes, I already found it ALL!"

"What? What do you mean you found it all?"

"Well, I don't know what time I got up. It was still dark outside. Nobody was up. I went out to the living room and I saw some eggs! So I started searching and I think I found it all!"

Out to the living room we all trooped, where we discovered that Cameron had indeed found every egg and present -- both his and Matthew's -- that the Easter Bunny had so carefully placed for the appropriate boy. They were carefully lined up and opened on the kitchen counter.Fortunately, Matthew was unconcerned, happy just to wear his crown and eat his first "jumpy bean."

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E.B. again. I quit.