Matthew takes up hunting

Matthew gives a constant running commentary on his life. It starts in the morning. "AWAKE!" he calls. "UP. PICK UP. AWAKE." And it keeps going. All. Day. Long. Right now it is 8:30 am. I've already heard "I EAT IT. I DRINK IT. ALL DONE. GET DOWN. UH OH. I THROW IT. I THROW FOOD. FLOOR." I've heard, "OH, COFFEE! HOT. BURN. DADDY COFFEE." I've heard, "PICK UP," more times than I can count. I've heard, "BAS-KET-BALL. I WATCH IT. I THROW IT." I've heard, "HA HA. GOOD ONE MA-SSEW." But yesterday in the car, I heard I new one.

Matthew talks the entire time that we are driving to pick Cameron up. On good days, he sings. On bad days (for me), he tells knock knock jokes and shouts "KNOCK KNOCK" louder and louder until I say, "Who's there?" Yesterday was a good day. I was listening to the "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" podcast and Matthew was singing. "FEE FI FIDDLEY-I O, FEE FI FIDDLEY-I OOOO," he crooned. On the podcast, a wrestler was answering questions about figure skating. "Oooh, I'm sorry," said Peter, the host. "The answer was actually B, that ice skating move is called 'shoot the duck.'

From the backseat, I heard, "FEE FI FIDDLEY . . . HA. SHOOT THE DUCK. I SHOOT THE DUCK. FIDDLEY-I O!"