Sometimes and always

For reasons unbeknownst to me, Cameron was in a foul mood yesterday. He is usually a very agreeable kid but when he's not, well, look out! "Get me juice, Mommy," he commanded in a petulant tone as I changed Matthew's diaper. "Juice, juice, I want juice, Mommy!" he huffed. Reminders about patience, "please" and "thank you" were met with an icy stare. By dinner time, I had had about enough of his behavior. He whined and wheedled throughout dinner and told David and I to "stop talking because you're confusing my brain." Shortly after dinner, I put Matthew to bed but just a few minutes later Cameron began to scream, enraged over . . . well, we had no idea what! If there is one thing that will push my buttons, it is waking up Matthew. Cameron had picked the wrong battle. I carried him, kicking and screaming, to the dreaded Supernanny-inspired time-out chair where for four minutes he sobbed, spit (yes, spit) and gagged while I determinedly ignored him. (This, I will have you know, takes an extreme about of willpower!)

When the four minutes were up, I sat down to have a chat with him. Sensing that a new tactic was needed here, I began, "Wow! You must be feeling really angry about something! I know it doesn't feel good to be so angry. I wish I could help you feel better, but I don't know what is making you so angry!" Then, in a flash of inspiration, I engaged David in a little drama in which I tried to tell him what was making me angry. First, I "used my words." Second, I acted like a woman possessed, shrieking and stomping.

Giggling through his tears, Cameron said, "Well, I'm not angry, Mommy. I'm frustrated. And my brain is so mixed up!" Discussion of consequences, apologies and a few hugs later, he went to bed calmly.

When Cameron woke up this morning, the first thing he said was, "I still don't get to watch TV today, right?" He had lost his TV privileges thanks to the spitting incident.

"Nope, no TV," I replied. "Do you remember why?"

Glumly, he recited, "No TV because of my behavior last night. Wow, I had really bad behavior didn't I? Do you love me even when I have bad behavior?"

"Yes, I always love you," I said. "No matter how bad your behavior is, I still love you."

"Well," he replied, "I love you, too, Mommy. Sometimes. Sometimes and always."

And, as illogical as it sounds, I think that that is exactly right!