Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Judge not, lest ye be judged

Part I.

Yesterday, I was at the park with the boys when a very rude little girl of about nine years came near us.  As she complained and talked back to her mother, the mother turned to me and said, "It's her birthday, so she knows I can't do anything to her.  You know how that is!"

I had lost my voice -- literally, not in a symbolic sense.  I have laryngitis.  So, when the mother said this, I simply raised my eyebrows quizzically while thinking, Uh, no.  Actually, I don't know what that's like.  My kids aren't allowed to be brats, even on their birthdays. 

"Come on," said the mother to her daughter, "we've got to get going to Biff's house."

"Nooooo," whined the girl, "I don't want to go yet."

"If we don't go now," said the mother, "you won't have time to touch the snake."

Honest to goodness, this is what she said.

"Well," countered the girl, "I'm going to play here and then I'm going to go to Biff's and I'm going to play the Wii and I"m going to touch the snake."

"You're not playing the Wii," said the mom.  "You'll barely have enough time to eat the pizza and touch the snake before your daddy comes to pick you up.  So we got to go now."

At this, the girl rolled her eyes and ran off to play some more.

The mother turned to me.  "If it wasn't her birthday," she said, "I'd be screaming like you wouldn't believe!  A little while ago, she came up to me, you know, like kids always do, saying, 'I'm gonna smack you!  I'm gonna smack your face, mama! And you can't do nothin' about it 'cause it's my birthday!'  And I said to her, 'If it wasn't your birthday, I'd go throw you in that pond and then I'd call your daddy because it's his week to have you anyways and I'd tell him to go fish you out!' Except she knows I can't throw her in the pond because it's her birthday!"  She laughed uproariously at this.

I smiled wanly, and tried to nudge the children towards the swings on the other side of the park.

I kept looking around to see if I was on Jamie Kennedy Experiment or Candid Camera or something. Crazy!  I'll tell you one thing, I am not raising my children to tell me they're going to smack my face!

Part II.

Today, Matthew earned himself quite a few time outs, primarily for not listening and secondarily for hitting when given a time out for not listening.  And he's catching on. 

As we drove to pick Cameron up from school, Matthew said, "Mama, we go to park?"

"Yes, Matthew," I rasped hoarsely.  "We'll go to the park after we pick Cameron up."

"OK, good, mama.  We go to the park.  I be a goooood listener.  And I will not hit you. . . too hard."

4 comments:

Deb said...

WOW! She won't be getting the parent of the year award. Just because it's her birthday she doesn't parent her! And then all the rest just made my jaw drop.

Where do you put Matthew for timeout? I've tried timeout with my girl but she just thinks it's fun and isn't learning her lessons yet.

Sharon said...

When Cameron was little, I had a time out rug that I used. Matthew, who is a bit more spirited and less inclined to actually stay on a rug, usually gets a time out in his crib. I used to worry that if he got a time out in his crib he would associate the crib with negative experiences, blah, blah, blah. I've realized, however, that he is smart enough to realize that going to his crib to sleep and going to his crib because he hit me are two different things! I think the key to time out success is consistency. It took a while, but Matthew is starting to understand that if he hits, he WILL be getting a time out. It's exhausting, and sometimes I just want to let it go and skip the time out, but then he pushes the boundaries even more.

Christine said...

Ditto ditto ditto. Second child = much more "spirited". Matthew sounds like quite the little character, though. I wonder how J and Matthew would do together? Too bad we don't live closer.

Unknown said...

For the record at our house, we use any and all corners. They have to stand in corner for time out. I don't care how or which way they face etc, but they have to stand there. This way time out is portable...and place where there is a corner. Consistency is the key...and trust me, our kids can get time out even on their birthday, and they probably do! Unbelieable.