No one or two

Cameron and Matthew's new school is really diverse which is really, really super awesome.  But also leads to discussions like this:

Me:  Matthew, who did you play with today?
Matthew:  Me here.
Me:  ???  Uh, who did you play with?
Matthew:  I SAID, me and Me Here played!  We played tag!
Me:  Your friend is named Me Here?
Matthew:  Yeah.  But Guy Three kept trying to play with us.
Me:  His name is Guy Three?
Matthew:  Nooooo!  Don't be ridiculous!  Guy Three is a GIRL!  And Guy Three always wants to play with me.  I'm like, "Geeezzz, Guy Three!  I just want to play with Me Here right now!"